Straight from Alexander Skarsgard, who mouthed these golden words at the audience after Anna Paquin coyly dodged a question on whether Sookie would act on her attraction to Eric in season 4.

Welcome to the madness of Paleyfest, fellow viking lovers and spoiler whores. For those of you who are Paley virgins, you’re about to get schooled.

Perhaps we should start at the beginning – because one big ‘ole bag of crazy was unleashed at yesterday’s event…and honestly, it’s hard to know where to begin.

Ok, it’s not really. Let me just pick something random. Something like…..

ERIC

As expected, Skars received a raucous welcome that went on…and on…and ON.

The amnesia storyline was confirmed, with Alex telling the audience that Eric loses his memory because “He messed with the wrong people.”

“This powerful character is just gone—it’s not what we’ve built up over the past three years; it is just gone. And it’s a lot of fun for me because it’s the polar opposite of who Eric really is…He is lost. He doesn’t know how he is, he knows he’s a vampire, but he slowly finds out stuff, like, ‘Did I do that? I killed those people? Why would I do that? Oh. Really?’ It’s not easy to hear—and not knowing who he can trust, who’s a friend or an enemy. He’s very vulnerable.”

Kristin Bauer von Straten elaborated:

“[Eric's] being 10 years old, basically. He’s so sweet and cute, because he’s got amnesia. So our whole dynamic has changed. You’ll see how incredibly comedic and brilliant Skarsgård is, which everyone doesn’t know.”

We know, Kristin. WE KNOW.

More from Alex on the plight of our amnesiac vampire:

“Things are definitely not stable for Eric. He doesn’t know who he is, so 1,000 years of resentment for humanity is just gone. He’s very innocent…so Eric needs help. There are a lot of friendly people in Bon Temps who are kind enough to give him help….Pam is obviously very helpful as well—my lovely daughter.”

Other points of interest on Eric:

• Alex asked Ball for some Pam/Eric flashbacks
• Godric returns this season in flashback or dream form
• There will be an “amazing” flashback involving Eric and Bill – Alex: “Just watch it!”

SOOKIE

So aside from Sookie “acting on her attraction” to Eric this season, what else do we have to look forward to from our favorite waitressing, telepathic fairy? Well, it seems that our protestations for a Sookie with half a brain might finally be reaching the right ears. According to Anna Paquin,

“We will see what she learned tempering the way she goes about looking for independence.”

Can we get a freaking AMEN? I cannot cope with this dimwitted, junkie Sookie for another episode. This sounds like a good indication that our ideas here about the effects of Bill’s blood aren’t far off. Given that she’ll presumably be going cold turkey on that shit, I’d expect to see a fiesty, more independent Sookie as a natural consequence.

So where has Sookie gone? And when will she be back?

“She comes back. But things are different.”

I reckon the time jump theory just got a pretty huge boost.

When asked whether Sookie could control the Glowy Hands of Fail, Paquin replied “No. But she’s new at this fairy stuff”.

Will Sookie act on her attraction for Alcide? “Well, he doesn’t turn into a ball of charred fire during the daytime. But he comes with baggage.”

Psychotic, drug addicted, batshit crazy girlfriend baggage. But that’s OK Sook, you can get some help with that. Keep your shotgun and shovel handy.

BILL

Bill will be involved in a major struggle with Sophie Anne. As for the fight, Alan Ball says that Bill will not be taking on the queen by himself.

“It’s not just Bill involved in the fight”.

Stephen Moyer confirmed that he would like to direct an episode. I can’t say this impresses me much, given his often completely baffling comments about his character. Please HBO, just NO. No one wants to see this. Really.

With reference to the infamous twisty head sex scene with Mariana Klaveno, Stephen mentioned that he had his own “fuck puppet”.

OKAY, THEN.

Moving on.

JESSICA AND HOYT

So what torture is Ball going to inflict on the couple everyone roots for?

According to Deborah Ann Woll, “The fairytale can’t go on forever, but maybe reality is better than a fairytale.”

OK, so that sounds promising…right??

Maxine will be back, and she is still her bigoted, bitchy old self.

ALAN BALL

As expected, Ball dropped some stuff that I suspect he thinks are bombs…but really aren’t. Like this on Bill and Sookie:

“It’s hard not to think of them as soulmates when they’re soulmates in real life.”

Wassup, Alan? You’re off your game! Ball’s been throwing some version of this bait out at every Paley and Comic Con since this show started. It used to get us riled up into a right lather. But after the events of season three – and I don’t just mean the edict and the Rattray reveal, either – it’s clear to me and pretty much everyone else watching this show that these two are the most fucked up version of “soul mates” ever to grace our television screens. He knows this. He does. But the reaction this statement gets from both sides of this fandom – every single time he utters it – is the very reason he keeps trotting it out.

Stop reacting.

The “soul mates in real life” reference just SCREAMS dig at the rather odd portion of the fandom who have a distinct problem separating Paquin/Moyer and Bill/Sookie. And that’s all I’m going to say about that.

On Sookie’s betrayal by Bill and whether there is hope for a reunion, Ball said:

“That betrayal is so deep I don’t think there is any way back from that. Hopefully we’ll have 17 more seasons.”

I’m taking that as being tantamount to a cold day in hell.

Another interesting nugget – Ball confirmed that vampires are able to dream. I thought that was pretty obvious when we saw Bill tossing and turning in bed having a nightmare about Lorena and his wife. But maybe some people needed this explicity pointed out…I don’t know.

In any case, this leaves the door open for a popular idea around these parts – namely, that Sookie’s dreams are shared with Eric, rather than him controlling them.

On the books, Ball said that he generally only veers away from them to give the characters besides Sookie good story lines. Otherwise, “the books work”. He also mentioned that all of the writers have read all of them.

We know this, Alan. It’s pretty obvious to most of us here that the core of the story remains intact while you fiddle with the details. And that’s cool, we like to be surprised. You’re doing a stellar job of keeping the important stuff and I’m pretty happy about that.

OTHER BITS AND PIECES OF NOTE…

• Ryan Kwanten says that Jason Stackhouse is the last person who should be left in charge of a town full of addicts
• Niall will definitely show up at some point, but not this season.
• Russell will be back, and “he is gonna be PISSED”.
• Eric and Lala will continue their…erm..”relationship”. Ball: “Sookie and Bill aren’t the only soulmates.”
• Ball promises “action” between Tara and Pam (looks like Tara really IS Amelia…)
• Terry and Arlene’s baby problem will “grow expotentially”.
• According to Chris Bauer, Andy will be tempted by all the V in his office this season
• Gary Cole (the creeper boss in Office Space…!!) will guest star in Season 4.