JONATHAN SOROFF: Do you believe vampires exist?
KRISTIN BAUER: In Hollywood? Energy vampires, certainly. Are you kidding me?

WHAT’S MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU—PAINTING OR ACTING?
Well, one puts food on the table, and I’m very practical. The other one kinda helps me repair the chaos inflicted by the other. But of course, I’d have to pick eating and a roof over my head for the moment.

WOULD YOU RATHER BE REMEMBERED FOR PAINTING OR ACTING?
Interesting question. Painting was sort of my secret. Nobody knew that I did it, and it was sort of my secret sanctuary. I finally decided to tell people that I did this other thing, and I built my website. I still have a foot and a half in the acting world, so I’ll still say acting. But my painting is all me.

IS IT ANNOYING TO BE REMEMBERED AS “MAN HANDS” FROM SEINFELD?
[Laughs] Hmm…Man Hands or a great painter? I think you’d have to go with Man Hands, don’t you think?

WHO’D WIN IN A WRESTLING CONTEST: YOU OR RUTINA WESLEY [WHO PLAYS TARA THORNTON]?
Oh my God. After watching her last year, I’ve gotta go with Rutina.

IS IT A STRETCH FOR YOU TO PLAY SUCH A BITCH?
No! Not at all! Interestingly, amazingly, those shoes are really easy to step into.

WEIRDEST FAN ENCOUNTER?
She was wearing a cape, and she gave me a journal that she’d been keeping. It took me, a few friends and some cocktails to figure out what she was trying to say, and I think it had something to do with her being my maker as a vampire. She also grabbed my ass. [Laughs.] Pretty memorable.

DO YOU REALLY GET TO SEE ALEXANDER SKARSGÅRD NAKED?
Yes! It’s a nice perk.

WHO’S THE SEXIEST MAN ON TRUE BLOOD?
It’s almost impossible for me to say at this point, because I’m so close to all these people. We’re in year five of our relationships. But I do have to say that one of the set crushes for a lot of the girls is Chris Bauer [who plays Andy Bellefleur]. This is the sexiest cast. Whatever your type, he’s there. But Chris Bauer is sort of the on-set heartthrob. Cute, sweet, cool. He’s the guy you’d marry.

DID YOU THINK THE SHOW WAS GOING TO BE SO HUGE?
I didn’t. As an actor, you can only hope that you’ll end up on a show like this. Watching it grow, and the fans, and the numbers, it’s just amazing. I don’t feel like we’ve reached the limit yet.

ANY THOUGHTS ON TWILIGHT?
I took my nieces to see it. They’re 15, 16, and they’re not allowed to watch True Blood yet. I thought, “Oh, perfect!” And it was.

THINK THIS WHOLE VAMPIRE TREND IS GOING TO RUN ITS COURSE ANYTIME SOON?
I thought it ran its course with Anne Rice. Then I thought it ran its course five years ago. And I keep seeing yet another vampire show every time I turn around. It seems to be a classic story line and archetype we keep coming back to.

IF YOU COULD, WOULD YOU BECOME A VAMPIRE?
I’ve thought about that. It’s a bit like that game “Would You Rather…” I tell myself that I’d be spiritually evolved enough to have faith in the system as it is—bodies are supposed to die. You’re a spiritual being. You’re not this vessel you’re in. But… would I be able to turn down perpetual youth? And they’re always wealthy and they always dress well. If you caught me on the wrong day, I’d say, “Oh, yeah.”

WHO WOULD YOU FEED OFF OF?
Boy, that would be fun, because you could feed off of people you hate. You could feed off of people you thought were hot. You could feed a little too much off of some politicians or celebrities you’re sick of. So, feeding off of Sarah Palin? That would be kind of awesome.

IS ANNA PAQUIN A LITTLE POCKET PAL?
[Laughs.] She is small, but she’s so not the personality who would be content sitting in someone’s pocket. She’s this fierce, incredible tour de force. She’s so funny and amazing. Pocket pal doesn’t really describe her.

WHAT’S THE SHOOTING SCHEDULE LIKE?
Slightly intense. Because I’m a vampire, I’m always going to shoot at night, when it’s really cold. But I’ve been really lucky. Fangtasia was a bar that existed in Long Beach, and they rebuilt it on the set—one advantage of being on a successful show. So I drive to a set, and I have a trailer to hang out in. The days are really long, and they’ll kill you for two days, but then you have time off, because it’s a huge cast with lots of plot lines.

FINISH THIS SENTENCE: “VAMPIRES DO IT…”
Every which way.

THING YOUR FANS WOULD BE SURPRISED TO LEARN ABOUT YOU?
They’d be surprised to see how astoundingly un-together and unfashionable I can look.

DO YOU HAVE A GALLERY THAT REPS YOUR ART?
I don’t, and that was one of my projects on hiatus. I do a lot of commissions, so a lot of it I don’t keep. But that’s one of the things on my to-do list.

YOUR IDEA OF A PERFECT SUNDAY AFTERNOON?
I love when it’s raining, wearing PJs, a big Sunday breakfast at home, in my slippers, no makeup. That’s heaven.

WHAT COMES AFTER TRUE BLOOD?
There are always acting opportunities, but I’ve been incredibly lucky. I’ve gone from playing the dumb blonde to the killer vampire, and on Once Upon a Time, I’m playing a storybook character. So there will be more fun roles, and also, I’ve been writing. I’m working on a book, and I like to tell stories. That’s why I got into acting.

WHAT DOES YOUR HUSBAND THINK OF THE WHOLE TRUE BLOOD PHENOMENON?
He was taken by surprise by it, I think, because he was visiting Hollywood from South Africa when we met and had no intention of staying. So this was all new to him. It’s really interesting to see it through his eyes, because it’s even more virginal than coming from Wisconsin.

WORST AUDITION STORY?
Oh, there’s such a plethora. But singing was pretty memorable. I can’t sing, and I had to do this Donnie Osmond song for that Hugh Jackman show Viva Las Vegas.

BIGGEST LIE ON YOUR ACTING RESUME?
Well, most of them have been removed at this point, because when I started out, I didn’t have an acting resume and so I made one up. I was in some audition, and the casting director goes, “This character’s a lot like Terry.” I said, “Who?” She said, “From Bus Stop. On your resume.” I tried to cover by saying, “Oh! I thought you said Sherry!”

SO WHEN ARE YOU COMING BACK TO VISIT THE MUSEUM SCHOOL?
I’m not sure, but when I do I should probably confess to my teacher that I brought in my boyfriend’s paintings as my final exam.